


Culture Clash

by michele659



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Romance, Sex, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 09:28:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16910373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/michele659/pseuds/michele659
Summary: Based on a prompt by:hopeleslihooked  for Adventfic Calendar Challenge at lj,2010.From S1. The prompt was: Danny wants a traditional holiday dinner for Christmas. Steve wants the Hawaiian equivalent. Bring on the bickering!Thanks for the prompt!





	Culture Clash

**Author's Note:**

> Steve and Danny are in the beginning of a relationship here.  
> The mention of eating the seven kinds of fish on Christmas Eve is an old Italian tradition. I think of Danny as being part Italian, so I put that in.  
> Also, my knowledge of Hawaiian traditional Christmas Dinners were gotten from the internet,so I apologize if I made any errors in describing the dinner.  
> Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Hawaii 5-0.

*********

 

“So, for Christmas- I was thinking we’d have a luau outside,” Steve announced one morning a week before Christmas.

Danny rolled over in bed, blinking the sleep out of his eyes.

“What did I hear you say? Did you actually use the words Christmas and luau in the same sentence?”

Steve nodded. “Why, what’s wrong with that? It’s a traditional island Christmas dinner.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Danny’s voice rose. He struggled to sit up in bed so that he could properly glare at Steve. “Christmas isn’t a “luau”, Steve! Christmas is sitting around a huge table with your friends and family-inside! With Christmas food!”

Steve couldn’t help but smile. Danny was so much fun when he got all worked up. It made those blue eyes get just a bit fierier.

“Christmas food?” Steve asked.

“Yes, Steve. Christmas food! You know, turkey, ham, sweet potatoes with the little marshmallows on them! Pumpkin pie! Fruit cake!”

“Fruit cake, Danno?”

“Yes, fruit cake! Shut up, McGarrett!”

“How can you call me McGarrett when only a few hours ago you had my dick-“

“Shut up!” The vein in Danny’s head started to throb, and Steve had the sudden urge to kiss him.

So he did.

Danny started responding, like he always did when Steve kissed him, and then a light seemed to go off in his head and he said, “No! Don’t think you can seduce me into forgetting we were arguing, you evil, evil man!”

“Oh, so I’m evil now?” Steve couldn’t stop laughing. “I was just trying to calm you down. That vein in your forehead was throbbing and I was a little worried about you!”

“You are such a liar,”McGarrett,” Danny repeated.

“I’m a liar and I’m evil?” Steve grinned. “I’m impressive, aren’t I?”

Danny just glared at Steve and didn’t answer.

“Okay, you like the traditional mainland Christmas. I like the traditional Hawaiian one.”

“What exactly do we eat at this traditional Hawaiian Christmas dinner? Because I seem to remember Kono and Chin talking about having turkey at their Christmas dinner,” Danny pointed out.

“Yeah, well that’s what most people do these days. But I like to do things the traditional way-“

“Really? Because just a few hours ago you were doing some very untraditional things with your mouth. I seem to remember a tongue in my-“

“Stop it!” Steve said, getting flustered.

“See? How do you like it? Being derailed in an argument by someone talking about the mind blowing sex you had?”

“Mind blowing? You thought I was mind blowing?” Steve smiled, pleased with himself.

“Oh, get over yourself. I meant the sex we had with each other, not just you!”

“Oh,” Steve thought about it for a second. “Okay.” He shook his head as if to clear his mind of thoughts centering on his tongue and Danny’s ass, and Danny’s mouth wrapped around his cock and- “Fuck!” Steve glared at Danny. “We can’t have this discussion in bed.”

“You’re right. We’re not having this discussion, because we are not having a luau for Christmas!” He started stroking Steve’s cock and started moving down on the bed to take it into his mouth.

“Oh, God, Danny!” Steve gripped the headboard with his hands and closed his eyes.

Then he thought of what they were talking about and pushed Danny away, cursing.

“No, I mean we need to get up and have breakfast and talk about it!”

“You’re not serious!” Danny looked at Steve in disbelief. “You’re turning down sex so we can go fight about what to have for Christmas dinner. We’re not even married and I’m thinking of getting a divorce!”

Steve pushed the covers off and got up, pointing at Danny. “Come on, let’s have breakfast.” Steve pulled on a pair of shorts and walked out of the bedroom

Danny laid his head on the pillow and exhaled. “A lunatic. I’m with a man who’s a lunatic!”

Steve was already on the way to the kitchen, calling after him, “Come on, Danno!”

“Bossy bitch,” Danny grumbled but reluctantly followed Steve to the kitchen.

Steve was making coffee and turned around and gaped at Danny. “Put some clothes on! We can’t have this conversation with you sitting next to me nude, stretching and moving!”

“Stretching and moving?” Danny laughed.

“Yeah, you know what you do. You shrug and you flex and you-just put some clothes on, please!”

Danny smirked. “Well, at least I’m glad my naked body has some effect on you. I was starting to worry,” and he went to put on pants.

“Better?” Danny asked when he came back into the kitchen.

“A little. You still have no shirt on. Never mind! I’ll deal!” He poured them both coffee and Danny sat down at the table.

“You know Danny, you have no idea what a traditional Hawaiian Christmas dinner consists of, and you’re already saying no.”

“I just know from the word luau that it’s not my idea of a Christmas dinner.” He sighed. “Okay, so what kind of food is it?”

Steve’s face lighted up. “Well, we could roast a hog-“

“What the fuck?”

“I’m kidding, sort of. But we should have traditional luau foods. That includes Kaluah pig. Of course, we won’t make it in an underground pit-“

“Oh well, that’s good,” Danny interjected. “We wouldn’t want to burn your place down or anything. Wait a minute? Kaluah? As in the drink? You want to make a PIG with a LIQUER? “

“Relax, Danno,” Steve laughed. “I’m not using liqueur in the recipe. That’s just what it’s called, and it’s not a whole pig.” He paused. “May I go on?”

Danny waved his hands. “Go, go.”

“Thank you so much. We have to have poi-“

“Do I even want to know this?”

“Poi, Danny. You’ve never heard the word poi before?”

“I’ve heard it; I just don’t know what it is. But keep saying it, I like the way your lips kind of puff out when you do.”

Steve shook his head. “You’re such a –“

“Wonderful guy,” Danny finished the sentence for him. “So, what is poi?”

“It’s made from pounded taro root and-“

“Hold up! You lost me at ‘pounded taro root’,” Danny shook his head.

“Well, that’s what it is. But you can make so many things with it! You can make puddings, side dishes, even drinks!” Steve enthused.

“Drinks? With poi? How do you know so much about this?”

“I have a cookbook,” Steve admitted.

“Really? A cookbook with nothing but poi recipes? “

“Shut up Danny!”

“What did I say? I just expressed surprise that you have a cookbook with poi recipes.”

“It’s the way you said it. And I just bought it.”

Steve closed his eyes as though he’d just revealed an embarrassing secret.

Danny smiled.

“You just bought that-for this Christmas luau? You bought it for me?” He asked, teasingly, getting up to give Steve a kiss on the top of his head.

“No- ok, yes! I thought it might be fun!”

“Hmm, fun. I don’t know, I’m skeptical,” Danny said.

“I’ll show you. Don’t worry.” Steve smiled. “I’m a good cook.”

“So, what else is on the menu for this luau that we absolutely HAVE to have?”

“Huli-huli chicken.”

“Like the skirt?”

“That’s hula- you’re hysterically funny.”

“Sorry, go ahead,” Danny said with a smirk

“Mahi Mahi”-

“Wait, that’s fish! No way we have fish at Christmas!”

“Don’t you have seven types of fish on Christmas Eve?” Steve asked.

“That’s Christmas EVE! Not Christmas DAY! There’s a difference.”

“Well, it’s traditional, and it’s very good. You know, Danny it’s not unusual for an island to have a lot of seafood dishes.”

“Another reason I wish I was back in Jersey,” Danny said jokingly.

We also have lomi lomi salmon,” Steve informed him. That’s an appetizer made with-“

“Salmon and lomi lomi,” Danny replied with a laugh.

“You’re such a wit, Danno,” Steve glared at him before rolling his eyes and continuing.“No, it’s a mixture of salted salmon, tomatoes, and onions.Its origins can be traced to a salted fish brought to Hawaii by European sailors and a traditional Tahitian dish,"he finished, proudly.

“Wow, very impressive. Now instead of ‘Steve the Science Guy’ we have ‘Steve the Island Guide Guy’,” he grinned.

“Very funny. Just trying to give you a bit of a historical background is all. Some culture!”

“Well you sound like you memorized some guidebook,” he glanced at Steve, who was turning red. “You did! You memorized this so you could impress me!” He pinched Steve’s cheek. “You’re adorable.”

“Oh, shut up!” Steve pouted, but then he smiled a little.

“So what’s next for this feast we are so not having?” Danny asked.

“We ARE having it, Danny! It’s tradition!”

“Okay, don’t give me the aneurysm face! What’s next?”

“Well, I figured that we have pork, chicken and fish so we have to have beef, right?”

Danny shrugged.

“So I thought we could have shoyu steak!”

“You say that like I know what it is, Steve. Show you steak? Show me what? That this luau is better than having turkey and stuffing and-“

“It’s not “Show you, it’s shoyu-s-h-o-y-u.”

“I still don’t know what it is, Mr. Island Chef.”

“Danny,” Steve said in a warning tone. He cleared his throat. “It’s steak with soy sauce and rice vinegar.”

Danny laughed. “What a fancy name for steak with soy sauce and rice vinegar!”

“It’s delicious, Danny.”

“I didn’t think you’d like all this-Mr.“I eat healthy foods and disapprove of your diet.”

“Well, it’s Christmas. And, I’m going to have the fish. Which brings me to another dish. It’s called poke.”

Danny laughed. “Poke, really? As in ‘poke me, Danno’?”

“I have never said ‘poke me, Danno’!”

“No, but you should. It makes your lips puff out, like when you say ‘poi’.”

Steve couldn’t help grinning at that. “You’re impossible.”

“Ok, sorry. So what’s in the poke?”

“A raw seafood salad that is made with soy sauce, onions, red pepper, sesame seeds, and chopped macadamia nuts. It’s often made with raw Ahi (tuna) but it can be made with octopus, crab, and other raw seafood.”

“None of those sound the least bit appealing to me, Steve. Also, macadamia nuts and fish?” Danny shook his head. “Not my thing.”

“You know what?” Steve went on as though Danny hadn’t said anything. “I realize we don’t have any starch!”

“Oh no!” Danny said in mock terror.

“I know! We can have chicken long rice!”

“It sounds wonderful, Steve.”

“Oh, it is Danny. Seriously, you’ll love it! And, we can have potato and macaroni salad.”

“Well at least I know what those are.”

“Yeah, but we mix them together.That’s different.”

“It’s okay. I do that anyway,” Danny paused. “Steve, as fascinating as this is, are we almost done with the menu you think you’re going to have?”

“I know we’re going to have it, Danny. And you’ll love it,” Steve had that stubborn set to his chin that made Danny either want to kiss him or bang his own head against a wall.

“We can have coconut pudding and I’ll make Hawaiian lemonade,” Steve was lost in thought, apparently trying to calculate what he’d need to make these things.

“Should I even ask about the Hawaiian lemonade?”

“It’s a combination of lemonade, pineapple, apricot and Ginger ale. It’s a great non-alcoholic drink!”

Danny groaned. “I want alcohol.”

“In front of Gracie?” Steve asked, disapprovingly.

“Calm down, Grandpa. I didn’t say I planned on getting drunk. I just said I wanted some alcohol.”

Danny put his hands on Steve’s shoulders. “Why is this so important to you?”

“Because you hate it here and you feel you don’t belong. I want to show you that you do belong, and that you can like it here.”

Danny moved closer to Steve and looked him in the eye. “Tell me why.”

Steve looked down. “Because I want you to be happy,” Steve took a deep breath. “And I don’t want you to leave.”

Danny pulled Steve into a hug. “I’m not going anywhere, you know that. I wouldn’t leave Grace and I wouldn’t leave you.”

“Yeah, I know you wouldn’t leave Grace. I guess I also hoped you would feel like you didn’t want to leave because you felt at home.”

“Steve? Didn’t you hear the rest of what I said? I said that I wouldn’t leave you either.” Danny brought his hand up to Steve’s face. “I don’t need this to feel like I’m home. I feel like I’m home whenever I’m with Grace, and whenever I’m with you.”

Steve smiled but there was still a pout there that said something was wrong.

“What? Again with the pout? Are you just pouting because you know I have a thing for your lips?”

Steve laughed and shook his head. “I want you to feel at home all the time, Danny.”

“Steve, I’m working on it. It’s going to take a while, though. This is a whole new life for me. And it’s not like I wanted a whole new life. I liked where I lived, where I worked. I was near my family and friends I’ve known since I was a kid. I had an identity that I was familiar with. I belonged.”

Steve pulled him close. “You belong with me.”

Danny looked up at him and saw the love that they had yet to talk about in his eyes.

“I guess I do,” he said softly.

Steve held Danny’s gaze and smiled. “That’s good to hear.”

Danny sighed. “Okay, I’ll go along with this luau thing you have stuck in your head, but I have to have a couple of things I want, too, okay?”

“That sounds fair,” Steve agreed. “What do you want?”

“I want pumpkin pie and eggnog with rum-oh and sweet potatoes with marshmallows!”

Steve grimaced. “Sweet potatoes with marshmallows?”

“Yes,” Danny grinned. “That’s part of my tradition.”

“Okay, okay,” Steve laughed.

“You’re going to make all this stuff by yourself?”

“No. We are, of course!”

“Wait-of course? What of course? How is there an ‘of course’ attached to that sentence?” Danny demanded.

“Relax, I’ll do most of it,” Steve kissed him. “I’ll be the chef and you can be my lovely assistant,” he smirked, waiting for Danny to blow up on him.

Instead he just said, “I’m going to hold you to that. So, now that we’ve figured out Christmas, what do you say we- I don’t know, go back to bed?”

“That sounds like a very, very good plan, Danno,” Steve replied.

 

The End


End file.
